Outlook says it's Wednesday the 24th already. How in the bloody hell did that happen? I swear it must be last week!

Ewan is almost 2 weeks old, and I think we're sort of getting settled in. Today I'm trying to get a few things done because I can't take any more of this resting crap. I feel lazy- and that's no good. I do realize that if I don't rest then I won't heal, but a girl can only take so much. So, Ewan is trying out the sling so I can type a little bit. I have 4 pages of a bigger update in draft on the laptop... I'll post it at some point.

Ewan Updates

Yesterday we went to our 2 week postpartum visit at the midwife. She checked out Ewan- he's good. She checked out me- I'm good, including my stitches, with which I was a little concerned. I've lost 20lbs of my pregnancy weight... still 14 to go. Apparently this is a good thing, but I was really hoping it would all be gone. Alas, I think I know where the rest of it can be found- most of it is in my bra... the rest is sitting on my hips. BAH! Freakin' mom body.

Oh yeah... I'm a mum. Weeeeeird.

Ewan's weight experienced the usual drop following birth. The bench mark is to regain weight and return to birth weight by two weeks. As of yesterday, Ewan weighed 7lbs 2oz, so he's a little ahead of the curve. He's definitely been eating enough! This means that nursing is triumphant. We had some major troubles with that for the first week, but I think we're getting the hang of it... mostly. Stephen and I both think he's getting/gotten his first growth spurt. He already looks bigger and I think he's put on a little more baby pudge- namely in his cheeks. He's already growing up! *sob* Ah well... it probably wouldn't hurt him to grow into the newborn sized clothing. He's still a little guy.

Sadly, Ewan got his first heal prick yesterday. He took it like a man, but I didn't enjoy it. So I guess we're getting the PKU after all.

Other than that... Ewan is super cute. He shows off his dimples pretty regularly. I found his ticklish spot on his neck and he seems to like a little bit of tickling. I definitely like the very near giggling. He also has semi ticklish feet. I think he and I are getting along pretty well. He likes sleeping on my chest and I don't like putting him down so that's working out alright. He really enjoys classical music (though right now we're listening to the bleepy stuff). He still keeps me up a lot of the night, but we're getting better all around.

squidyfishlove has had to go back to work this week, so it's been a bit harder for me, but we're getting the hang of it. I don't think I could have survived last week if Stephen had been working... somewhat literally. I've had to be on extreme rest to get these stitches to heal and I'm still bleeding. There is a very direct correlation between the amount of bleeding and the amount of rest I get. I spent the last two days pretty much hanging out on the couch and watching movies with Ewan and so was doing a little better- until I started running up and down the stairs last night and trying to get ready for company (there has a been a lot of that too). Today I'm trying to find a balance. I can't stand to sit on my arse anymore, but I don't want to end up with an infection. I actually have antibiotics here if I need them because I had a fever and some yucky symptoms at the end of last week, but I have held off on starting them because my stomach has been bad enough without allowing those to strip my system. No thank you. Eating is hard enough as it is. Especially since we've been living off of pizza for the last three days... I'm so glad it's gone. Thankfully the pizza was offset with a box of SUPER JUICY pears, apples and other goodies from Harry and David, sent by aunt Linda, uncle mark, and cousin Adam. (THANK YOU!) I wish I could just ask for a glass of juice and have it magically appear again like I was getting so accustomed to with Stephen free.

He's really kicked in with the housework- I've been pretty impressed. He won't let anyone touch the kitchen- it's his area. I haven't done a single load of laundry since Ewan was born- I also can't find a lot of things, but oh well. Mom has been over here and there, but she mainly just gets to hold Ewan while I sleep or hang out and make food for me while I feed the little dude. The few days she's been able to come over have been really good. Now that everyone is back to work, except for me, and it's been a couple of weeks, I'm trying to adjust to life with baby. It's weird. I don't know where the time goes. It seems like I'm constantly feeding and changing him, I'm still pretty tired. But I really enjoy him being around all the time. It makes me weepy- in a good way. I fear I've gone soft.

Things I would like to do, however: get an entire night of sleep, feel truly rested, put on make-up, spend some time on skin care, ride my motorcycle!, clean everything, frame some things, hang some things, go visit kevbonium in Portland, go have some really good coffee, go snowboarding, etc.

Today's post is brought to you by the letters A and G (for anxious and grumpy). Just fair warning.

So! Today marks the first day of the Third Trimester. Good bye relative comfort and having energy again. Good bye to being able to see my feet and reach them. Good bye riding my motorcycle. Good bye to still "having a ways to go."

Hello edema. Hello being tired all the time again. Hello increased back pain. Hello Braxton-Hicks Contractions. Hello Colostrom production and swollen breasts. Hello increased mood swings and crying fits. Hello Anxiety Attacks?! (What's that all about anyway?!) Hello driving on four wheels all the time, everywhere. Hello count down to baby. Hello birthing classes. Hello buying the big ticket items we've been putting off (like a carseat, the pushchair, and a breast pump). Hello pregnant waddle and unrelenting acid reflux.

But most importantly... in three months, Hello Baby!!! That's right. For those of you who need a reminder, our due date is 9 October- three months from today. Just a staggering 12 weeks to go after this one.

( Second Trimester Wrap Up )

( Third Trimester )

( Baby Shower info and Registries )

So guess who's been slacking? Oh! It's me!

So... What to say here? I'm grumpy and uncomfortable today. I bought some photo gear which should cheer me up, but it's been trumped by medical bills and finding out we can expect maybe two more ultrasounds over the next seven months. The exception to this would be if something was wrong and it became necessary. This is making me sad. This is really from where the grumpy stems. I know it's pretty normal for this to be the case, but we really like the sonograms and seeing the baby grow. Not just seeing me grow- which seems like it's very close on the horizon now.

Other than that, I haven't been quite as tired lately but my brain is certainly on respite. My food cravings have really reared their ugly head this week in the form of Chinese, Thai food, and yesterday pizza. I thought I was going to die if I didn't get some pizza STAT, and it was like tasting heaven when I finally did. Of course my order confused the pizza place enough that they called me back to make sure they understood what I wanted. I thought it was good moment in crazy for me. Generally, though, if it's spicy, I want some. My stomach is really growling now, but I don't want to eat. I'm grumpy.

So what else? Stephen thinks I'm getting a little bit bigger already. I think it feels like that is coming very soon. Things are stiffening up in my lower abdomen. It doesn't look much different. You wouldn't notice if you looked at me that anything was. We, however, can notice a difference in shape and firmness to the touch. Fortunately, no one else touches me there. But I do feel bigger. I hope it's not just more fat. I eat mostly veggies and things- other than the pizza- but I still worry about it given that I'm hungry all the time. And as long as I eat regularly (in small portions, mind you), and don't eat junk, I don't throw up either. Even though I've been going for walks and to yoga, I still feel like a heifer. I'm sure this will only get worse in the months to come.

Other than that, I'm annoyed that I'm not more excited. We've been reading book after book about pregnancy. They all describe a great deal of discomfort, but the woman is always so happy about it. I'm happy about it, but I thought it would be this euphoric experience where I am housing the miracle of life and somehow connecting with that. Instead I'm low on energy and brain power and having a hard time feeling productive. Although, I've been somewhat successful (in extremely small doses, mind you) of instigating the Nesting Instinct early and getting some things organized. The big problem is that I have school work that requires a lot of time. And I have at least a week's worth of housework to catch up on. I just feel behind, and lazy, and the house is a mess, and my face is breaking out, and I can't get comfortable, and a lot of other things. I think it would be nice, sometimes, to have the luxury of time for just taking naps and to somehow really just enjoy the fact that I'm going to be a mum soon.

Why can't I seem to do that?

Probably because anytime something good is going to happen, I say I'll be excited afterwards- stressing about the details and the tasks to be done to make it happen instead of going along for the ride. Let me tell you, I was a grumpy, grumpy bride for this reason. I don't want to be a grumpy pregnant lady as well. I wish I could figure out how to chill and go with the flow.

On the plus side, squidgyfishlove is really excited. I think he's taking this better than I am.