eniarelocin: (Bro-Bru-Bru)
I'm supposed to be sleeping right now.

However, I had to finish some laundry... had to. It's compulsive. But I feel better knowing it's done.

About 10:30pm ( a little behind schedule), I made three eggs scrambled with 2 oz of Castor Oil... and some salsa, Brother Bru Bru's and rice cheese. That was like eating greasy Styrofoam. I hope to NEVER eat eggs again. However, I managed to choke down all but the last couple of bites (small ones). I have so far succeeded in fighting the urge to vomit every last disgusting drop of that stuff back out of my body. So far. Regardless, since it's been in, I have had some more contractions, a little bit stronger ones. This could be partially (and I'm sure should be) blamed on carrying around laundry and bending a bunch. But hopefully that disgusting stuff will do its job and get some good labor going.

I've been having irregular contractions on and off all day, and especially this evening. They're not too bad. For some reason I find myself just needing to breathe more even though I wouldn't really say I'm in pain, so much. This is confusing to Stephen, but he'll live. Right now I feel numb to pain. Let's hope that continues for a long, long time.

Ah well... so nothing super stellar to report before I head off to bed tonight. I think we're slowly getting a little bit further along, but I couldn't say where we are in the process. We haven't bothered timing contractions at all yet, and I'm not really planning to do so until they really start to hurt, or are strong enough to stop me in my tracks.

I have orders to finish the last 2 oz of Castor Oil at 0400... not too long from now, really. That dosage is scheduled to find its way into a non-dairy chocolate milkshake. Hopefully I'll be able to gulp down the retched stuff and not feel it so much. *shudder* It's all so very disgusting. I really hope I don't vomit. I don't want to have to do that more than one more time.

Alright, sleep. We're hoping to have a long, hard day tomorrow. (Short and tolerable is also an acceptable reality, but not one we're expecting.)

P.S. A note on contractions: I have been having some down lower over the last couple days that I did not immediately recognize. The stronger, upper ones seem to be back. They feel a bit like having the wind knocked out of you, but oddly further away from where that sensation should be. I suppose that's an indicator that my gut really is that big. Bye, Bye belly! We'll not be together for long!
eniarelocin: (Wilde Wicca)
Inutero baby hiccups has to be, easily, one of the weirdest pregnancy sensations ... and definitely my least favourite. OH well. Necessary practice for the little nipper.

Feeling much better today, even though I'm a bit nauseous after eating a dessert type item for brunch today... MISTAKE. I should know better but I was pressed for time. And now I pay for it.

On the plus side, I was pressed for time because I went and collected the labor tub, which is currently dominating the back seat of the Subie.

There's nothing holding us back now. I'm going to give this Evening Primrose stuff a try and ... see if anything happens I guess. I hope it's not as gross as it sounds. Yuck.

Oh, also on the good news list: most things are arriving in the post! I love getting things in the post. It's terrible. Now I'm just waiting for my Caden Lane messenger diaper bag to get here from Canada. They sent it via national post and it's taking freakin' forever. I asked for a tracking number, and much like our own ridiculous postal system, it only had information dating to the 28th of September. Thanks... that's oh so helpful. I hope it shows up!

I'm going to finish the baby room tonight. That's my plan. That means organizing the changing table, taking the wipes warmer out of the box, putting the cloth diapers in the crate thing I got for them, and making the room look really cozy. I'm intending to take pictures, but we'll see if I really do it. That would be better tomorrow when there is window light.

And now for more water... and hoping these hiccups knock off.

Oh, last thing of note: even my too big clothes are tight now! Bah. I squished into a tie dye dress today and have to keep checking to make sure the buttons haven't popped open again. Good thing I'm wearing under layers. It's tempting to say I'm not going to work here next week and just live in pajamas until the baby comes out. I'll miss the gut when it does, though. It's a special thing. But next time... if there is ever a next time (which could happen if Stephen is as keen on babies as he is on his cats) I have a couple of requirements. 1) Loose some freakin weight first so I feel prettier, and 2) invest in real maternity clothes that actually fit and ESPECIALLY knickers.

That is all.
eniarelocin: (Hide)

Why I hate Evites

I'm so frustrated today. Things are not working smoothly. I feel like I'm getting behind even though I've been working most of the day (other than a three hour excursion to Seattle to drop off the house guest and go to Glazer's), and yet nothing is getting done. For the last several days I've regretted at least 60% of everything I've said and haven't said. I've decided that I talk too much and will be remedying that immediately (following this post, of course).

I thought I would be proactive and try to get something accomplished to adding in guests and sending out the baby shower invitation now that Lisa, our hostess, had given approval. Note: We were sending it from mine so people would recognize the email address and not assume it was spam. Well... Evites suck. It didn't appear to have sent it since I got no confirmation so I hit the button again and still nothing. I went back in to check it and then it showed two identical events on the My Invitations, neither of which were drafts. So... logically I assume that hitting the button twice had sent two invitations and that I should delete one of them to reduce confusion. So I went into one of them to cancel the event and send the "oops" email update to the guests. Embarrassing enough, right? No. When it refreshed they were both gone. I deleted the entire baby shower, and now there is no draft invitation.

I deleted the baby shower.

I'm so frustrated that right now I'm inclined to leave it deleted. I hate Evites. I think they're tacky, although less expensive, yes. I understand the convenience given that our hostess is in California and the prospect of mailing is certainly more of a hassle for her. I guess I'm just old fashioned and like pretty paper invitations and hand addressing things. I'm not the hostess so it's not my call, but the website is so frustrating and unresponsive! I can't get a hold of her right now. I can't just resend because the whole thing is gone.

Do we really need a baby shower? Of course we don't. Does anyone? No. But Lisa is not going to happy about this.

I'm too hormonal for all of this. I have a headache. I'm hot. All that Zen I worked on all day is absolutely obliterated at this point.

Stephen keeps wanting me to stop and just lay down or do some other relaxing thing... but I still haven't successfully accomplished anything other than unloading our house guest in Seattle. How am I supposed to relax when nothing is done? How can I sit there and idle when there is so much to do? When I have clients waiting for things? I can't. I don't do that.

Can I have a do-over please?

Edit: Apparently, if you hit the back button enough times do-overs do exist. So... it's been resent. I think it says I'm the host even though I'm not. I've tried to fix it, but it doesn't like me.

So far, [livejournal.com profile] sqidgyfishlove (aka Steve) has RSVP'd that he is coming. This is probably a good thing since the shower is for him, too.

So I guess this means the day is saved. But I still hate Evites.
eniarelocin: (fuzzy)
I'm going nuts today. I'm so anxious, I feel like I want to just jump out of my skin. When the baby moves, it is fairly twitchy too... flutter around in my pelvis and poking nerves that make my legs feel even worse. Especially the left one. I keep getting up to stretch. I tried laying down and doing relaxing techniques. I've changed my clothes probably three times. I keep changing my music to try to get something that will work.

Nothing is working.

What is up with this? Why is there no fixing?

The plan is trying going for a walk at lunch time with [livejournal.com profile] squidgyfishlove. I hope that does the trick because I have too much work to get done today for this. Of course it requires sitting in the office. I'm considering making myself some sort of cushion contraption so that I can actually tailor sit as long as possible like I'm supposed to.


Grump. Hrumph.

Make is stoooooooop. *whinge whinge moan*
eniarelocin: (Tiny Toes)
I gave in. I'm dying my hair. The fumes are killing me. This may not have been the best plan... but I do so hate my brown hair! It's such a shame that paying someone else to do it is so expensive.

Well... what's new? We've signed up for Birthing Classes. Due to a great many factors, we've decided to go with the Bradley Natural Childbirth Classes, taught in S. Everett by a woman named Lynnette. They are more expensive than hospital classes but we feel that the value is worth it. These classes are actually designed to help and prepare us for a better, safer, healthier birth with as little pain as possible (namely by teaching us to handle it). This is a twelve-week series which will end one week before our due date... that means we're getting close!

We start classes this Tuesday and I'm actually somewhat excited. The idea of labour is still somewhat surreal and I think that by physically attending these classes and beginning to really prepare, it may help the whole concept sink in more so and feel more tangible. I'm also hoping this will be a bit of a bonding experience for [livejournal.com profile] squidgyfishlove and myself ( or a huge disaster, fingers crossed). So yes, first class this Tuesday and then we'll be attending on Sunday afternoons for the duration of the classes. Pros of this are not rushing to get there after work, and we're taking it with just one other couple which should mean that it's less stressful and intimidating (since neither of particularly like the group of strangers scenario). The con is namely that it eats up our weekends somewhat, as it is 3-5 Sunday afternoon... but I think if we still want to plan a trip to Portland to see [livejournal.com profile] kevbonium that we should be able to make up our class.

During a stop off at Baby Style (I LOVE this store- and have registered there), we picked up a couple of books for Stephen: Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler: The Zen of Fatherhood (or something like that) and The New Dad's Survival Guide: Man-to-Man Advice For First - Time Fathers (This one comes complete with Army dad in some swanky slippers and a helmet.) I'm glad he's found a couple of books to read on the subject that he seems to enjoy. And, to my benefit- one of the books tells him that when cute and such gets too much he should get out and use some power tools (or do other such manly things). He decided to give this a shot last night on one of my new cheapo assembly required cabinets, which I purchased to replace an even more cheapo set of shelves in the office, and hide clutter). I think I like this. I wonder what other DIY projects we could set for him? And! Those should be made easier by the month late Father's Day present that he's getting today. You know, smothered in Macho Cheese and complete with bare handed Bear Wrestling and such.

Other than that... my upper back is starting to hurt a lot. Apparently my chest and general frontular area is getting heavier and it's very uncomfortable. I'm not pleased by this in the least. Also, I've rubbed the skin off of my toes and re-sprained my wrist. It's really hot and my I'm very tired of feeling that (and the stickiness). Good thing I'm shooting a wedding tomorrow, solo. What a wonderful plan that was! Oh well... let's hope it turns out well. I would hate to anger a bride.

More on photography later... for now I must go and wash this horribly wretched smelling chemistry from my hair.

Someone please remind me to post pictures of the Photographer-Mom's Dream Diaper Bag and proof of super-double-extra nerd points earned by moi.
eniarelocin: (Bro-Bru-Bru)
The office is much, MUCH, MUCH too hot. :(
eniarelocin: (Squashed)
Haven't been cleaning for that long really, but damn! My endurance is crap. I came in and sat down in here because I was getting tired, nauseous, and borderline dizzy. What a load of hooey! It's just house tidying.

I need a second pair of hands for this. And there are two men ([livejournal.com profile] redkevbo and [livejournal.com profile] squidgyfishlove sitting on their butts right now.

*complain complain complain*

I want to just hire a housekeeper. Oh to have money and be a snob! That sounds so fantastic today!

And even though I just ate, I'm still hungry. I'm so tired of being hungry!!! And I just want some bean sprouts.

eniarelocin: (down)
I'm grumpy )

On a more pleasant note, we have again changed health care providers for our maternity care. The more time has passed, the more my apprehension about going to a hospital and dealing with OB's has become. I heard about a birthing center through another post which is actually closer to home. So we went and met with Darlene at Cascade Birth Center yesterday.

I called the OB's office to cancel our 16 week appointment that as set for Thursday. The receptionist asked if I wanted to reschedule and I said no. She asked if I was going to another clinic and I said I was. She then asked why I didn't want to see that doctor anymore to which I replied I didn't want to see an OB at all. Click. She hung up on me. Glad we're not going there anymore.

For the first time I actually have a good feeling about this and a positive image in my mind of whole experience. The pieces are actually coming together and I can image going through labour without being angry with nurses, afraid and anxious about what they might do to me and the baby. The bottom line is that I don't trust surgeons to not think like surgeons. I am really happy about having a midwife and now have a really positive feeling about meeting and holding our baby for the first time. I am really looking forward to that. Only another 24 weeks to go.

Now that I can get over the hating the hospital part it brings up other issues I hadn't really thought about, like who is going to be at the birth. Who will I want to have there? And how many people am I going to offend by asking them not to come? I would imagine quite a few. I can't really think of anyone, other than maybe Anna, who I would want to have in there to actually help me be calm and comfort me through the whole thing. I wish that person would be Stephen but I don't expect that. Maybe we should sign up for some birthing classes and see how that goes.

Only an hour and a half until freedom. I'm so ready to leave work. Gah.
eniarelocin: (Default)
I have so much to do and I can't seem to focus. I've been having this trouble all week long, though it is intensely acute today. I swear I've read the same things over and over and over in an attempt to just get through them, but my attention span is that of a goldfish. It's almost painful.

Of course this is made worse by the fact that I need to have all of this done tonight- I'm down to the wire. Why can't I just do it and get it over with?


I'm so antsy and anxious. GRR. Will it be worth investing an hour of my precious little time into doing some yoga to hopefully get the jitters out? Perhaps. I have to do something. This is painfully slow progress besides and I will need to all my focus to get through my Photoshop work later.

Are we there yet? I am so ready to get the heck out of this semester and on to the things I actually want to be doing, like actually making and printing photographic images- you know, creating. I'm getting really frustrated with always talking about photography and not actually making images.

June 2010

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