Raine: Patchwork Girl

This picture doesn't show Ewan's room, but know this: I've spent all weekend making sure he has one. What does this mean? This means that aside from the filing cabinet and a few things on the high shelf in the closet I've gotten my stuff out of his room. It's not longer Ewan's room/my leftover junk. This morning Papa Joe (my dad) came over and helped me move two bookshelves down into the garage where I've made a work space and framing area... and mostly organized that half of the garage. After that Grammy Tammy (my mom) came over and played with Ewan while Stephen put together the nice wooden bookcase that Grammy Tammy (my mom) bought for Ewan. Ewan giggled and squealed with her for quite a while... and then they took a nap together. Stephen may think a lot of this stuff is 'my stuff' but I'm really doing it for Ewan.

Ewan is nearing 5 1/2 months old. He's changing every week and every day. Every day his eyes are a little brighter, everyday he's a little more with it. He says his own version of 'I love you' which sounds something like "I uuh ooooo" or some variation. He says mama when when he wants me (especially when he's with someone else) and 'meh' still means that he's hungry.

He's remembering things better now. I think that long term memory might be kicking in. It's not just motor skill development now. He's learning how things work. Last week he learned how to make the frog on his car seat toy play music. Yesterday I was showing him which buttons on his mobile make the music and today he tried to push them.

He wants our food. He really wants our cups. He knows how to drink out of cups even though he can't hold big ones on his own really. We need to get the little dude a sippie cup and every day it's getting harder to hold off from feeding him solids and things.

He's practicing sitting up on his own and can for some seconds, sometimes nearly a minute, before listing over to one side or another... or heading face first for his toes which he likes to suck on when he's on his back. He's pushing up when he's on his tummy but hasn't figured out what to do with his legs. However, he does try very hard to propel himself in whatever direction he likes to go. He'll be on the move in no time. This, coupled with Spring Break, fueled the urgency to give him his own room. Beyond this, I hope it will be more comfortable for whoever comes over to watch him at any given time as it's easy to get and feel displaced in our house.

His sleeping patterns are all off and crazy. He doesn't want to be nursed to sleep as much anymore or even rocked to sleep many nights. He wants to be flat and so I've been letting him go to sleep on his own in the crib. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. One thing I do know is that for some ridiculous reason he won't sleep through the night if he goes to bed before 11pm, but he will if goes to sleep after 11. I don't get it. Tonight he fell asleep around 9 and I couldn't wake him up. I sat him up several times and he rolled his head around and flopped his arms... but wouldn't wake up. And so he's in his crib even though I know it means punishment for me later.

Ewan is an amazing little dude. I am constantly battling with my overdeveloped ambition and being his mother. It's a struggle everyday, but he always comes first. I always want to be everywhere yesterday, but he reminds me to slow down and not stress out so much. Doing uni and trying to do the business thing has really been a challenge for me in the last few months. I don't really know where things are going. I think it about it constantly... when I'm laying in bed at night and should be sleeping... and the only answer I have is that he is the most important thing there can be. I may not always know the right answers or exactly what the right thing is, but I try to do the right things for him. I really hope I can do a good job.

He's such a sweet, inquisitive boy. He has a sensitive soul- he feels everything, you can tell. He loves music and singing. He likes looking at pictures. He's bashful and yet such a flirt. Despite all my secret hopes, he's definitely into pretty girls. I hope that I can help him grow and nurture all of these wonderful qualities.



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This one is for all of you who tell me "Oh! You're not that big!"

Well... I am now. The Ellie Belly seems to have suddenly exploded into hugeness this week. This is not surprising considering that the up-and-down space available is totally used up. Bending in any direction, including simply leaning to one side or another, is not only extremely uncomfortable, it's damn near impossible. I do believe the kid is now going very much in the out direction. I'll see if I can get Stephen to take a picture of me tomorrow... but geese do I feel gigantic. Note: this doesn't mean that it is advisable to agree with me... and I know there are certain people saying "you always were."

Last time I checked I could still see my feet, but maybe I should check again.

It's past midnight and I'm avoiding going to bed. Why? Because it's so difficult to get comfortable that I almost don't want to try. The midwife says I'm not to recline as we're still trying to get baby to roll over and face the right instead of the left, so I'm forced to sleep on my side. For some reason sleeping on my left side, the advisable one for multiple reasons, is the less comfortable of the two possible sleeping positions. I have taken to creating a pillow nest, which Stephen despises, and seems to work a little better than some of the other options. But ... still not comfortable. This is true to the extent that by the fourth or fifth time I've woken up to go to the loo, around 6am, I lay there not wanting to bother trying to get back to sleep. I've been spending a lot of mornings wandering around the house, going down for juice or otherwise just staring at the ceiling. I suppose this is all good practice for feeding around the clock.

I never thought I would be looking forward so much to sleeping on my stomach or my back. I have always been a side sleeper, but this is a different ball game. Baby got heavy and it pulls on the muscles/connective tissues of my abdomen and sides. It's also killing my back. Amazingly enough, laying down is the most uncomfortable position for me. I find this pretty surprising. Now with two weeks to go until the due date, I'm finally finding myself wishing for labor. It's only now that I really feel big and pregnant.

Ironically, I've been wearing my pre-pregnancy trousers this week and they're so much more comfortable than any of the maternity clothes that I have. Fair be it, they are totally unzipped and held up by my Bella Band (invaluable thing that it is), but they fit everywhere else. They, unlike all the maternity trousers, are not made for short women. It's so nice not to be high-watering it, although that may be appropriate now that the rains and autumn have arrived.

It's really feeling like autumn now. This change in the weather is something I've been waiting for to signal that we're close to baby time. Funny that it's come just as we hit full term. The days seem drastically shorter. I'm finally sleeping with a blanket again (first time in months). I'm also getting to layer and wear sweaters- which I love. I'm so not a summer person, and I'm very happy to see it go. This transition is so marked this year. Of course this is possibly the most significant change in seasons I will ever experience. Going into this new year (Celtic, that is)I will be a mother.

I'm really looking forward to baby coming. It feels like it's pretty cramped in there and I wonder how long it will wait until the magical proteins or whatever are released and signal that baby is ready for the oxygen world. We are armed and ready. We are armed with things that I wish we never had to buy (and couldn't do with a straight face). Our home birth kit is here as well, the basket of classic home birth items (all from out check list) is stocked and ready to roll, and all we need to do is finish cleaning up the bedroom. It's a lot closer but more cluttered than I'd like it to be. Also, the bathroom could use some deep cleaning but somehow I haven't been too excited to get down on my hands and knees to scrub anything. Shocking, I'm sure.

The Green Room is put together and peaceful. Although, Stephen has, as of today, turned on the television and hooked up the cable, so it has been invaded. However, this is still likely to be a nice, quiet tea and sitting room, and likely where I'll nurse a lot of the time. My glider/rocker fits wonderfully in there and I'm very happy with it.

Well... I guess I'll go fight the bed. We all need rest.

P.S. I have been getting a lot of random food cravings again, although I have not been able to indulge them. They come and go very quickly, but it's sort of funny... I'm really feeling full circle in many ways. I blame my trousers.

How very exciting! Meet the newest addition to our little family!

( My little Pickle! )

Well, I suppose it's all downhill, or uphill... or whatever from here on out. We aren't quite to countdown stage, but I'm sure we'll be there before we know it.

20 Weeks was sort of a turning point in some ways, and somewhat uneventful in others. Bending continues to get more difficult all the time. I am often surprised by the reduction in my mobility considering that I don't think I'm really all that big yet. I'm definitely bigger and my shape is changing, but I still don't expect that I look really pregnant so much as I expect that I look mostly fat. I wish that would change. Perhaps that is changing.

This past week has actually been pretty painful. The first few days (last Mon through Wed) were characterized by painful stretching, I suppose it was. I have felt 'round ligament pain' on my left side since fairly early on, but this week it's been both sides at once and actually to the point where it was nearly impossible to stand fully upright for periods of time. Fortunately as the week has worn on that pain has subsided, but only to be replaced by excruciating back pain, again, on the ride side for a change. It feels like my sciatic or something near it on that side suddenly 'slips out' of where it should be and is aggravated by moving in certain directs and by supporting any weight. My hips have been very sore as well. Sleeping on my side is very painful, but I cannot sleep on my back or stomach. Stephen bought a pregnancy pillow for me that seems to have helped somewhat after its first night of use, though I still need to flip over to alleviate pain in one hip until the other one becomes too painful and the pillow makes that more awkward.

Our midwife explained that the round ligament pain can be extremely painful and there is really not much to be done for it. The back pain, however, I can't handle as well. I quite literally cannot move at times, occasionally relegated to the floor experimenting with certain movements and directions until I find one that allows me to stretch enough to get my back to release a little bit. I'm worried about going in for anything but Bowen treatments as I have found that, after going to the acupuncturist earlier in pregnancy, over activating my lower back only aggravates it further (though perhaps that has changed). I really need to get back on my yoga routine, it seems to help a lot. Also, I have purchased Pregnancy Tea which contains some very good things including Raspberry Leaf which is said to do all sorts of wonderful things for pregnancy and may actually reduce complications making for better labour. What I do know is that it tastes yummy and keeps my tummy happy. Now that uni is out for the summer I have had time to start making improvements again. I hope I can keep that up.

We have spent the bank holiday weekend exhausting ourselves in rearranging the upstairs- switching offices basically. Stephen has generously given the baby and myself the bigger room to share (nursery/office now) and himself taken the smaller room which I previously occupied. He has set up and new and improved geek command center and though the room is smaller, it's nice to see him in a clean, fresh space and I hope he'll take the opportunity to make it something he uses and enjoys more than this room. As for me, I've got things into a preliminary state of organization and will soon be fine tuning. The baby gets almost half of the room in terms or wall space. We do have a large amount of baby kit already, now it's time to distribute it to the drawers and things I have ready. My aunt is sending over the crib used by my cousins and we should be seeing that in a few weeks I believe. I'm really looking forward to the arrival of the crib and to get the room painted. At that point, I believe the room will feel much more 'done.'

Today we mostly took the day off to go and see Pirates of the Caribbean and play Guitar Hero II with kevbonium for a little while. I beat Stonehenge. May fingers are tired. And so is the rest of me.

One of the biggest improvements I need to make is to get back on my sleep schedule. Tonight is definitely not the start of that... but it's definitely time for sleeping...
even though the baby is happily (I hope) kicking away.

Haven't been cleaning for that long really, but damn! My endurance is crap. I came in and sat down in here because I was getting tired, nauseous, and borderline dizzy. What a load of hooey! It's just house tidying.

I need a second pair of hands for this. And there are two men (redkevbo and squidgyfishlove sitting on their butts right now.

*complain complain complain*

I want to just hire a housekeeper. Oh to have money and be a snob! That sounds so fantastic today!

And even though I just ate, I'm still hungry. I'm so tired of being hungry!!! And I just want some bean sprouts.

*pout*