Raine: Patchwork Girl

What a horrendous night!!!

So, that nasty egg concoction was not well digested by my body. The Castor Oil was not well received. Starting around 1am I was getting contractions, and by 1:30 they were coming hard and strong and three minutes apart and lasting about 1m 20 secs, on top of constant tightness. That was crazy no fun. Stephen was a champ and very helpful through that section, especially the part where I expelled the Castor Oil Eggs and goodness knows what else into one of the handy foot soak tubs I purchased for doing pedicures with to_rei_shi. That was a $1.56 well spent!

Given this, we called Darlene. I was pretty out of it. I was clinging to the counter at this point, managing to talk, but not that well. Seriously not fun. So... we decided to hold off the on the second does a little while long- I think it ended up being after 4am before I managed to really make it back to bed and stay there for longer than about 10 minutes at a time. 10 minutes in bed, 45 in the bathroom. GAH.

But... I had some show at 3:27, according to my log, and then more just before 4am. This means to me that those horrible contractions were doing something.

The good news is that after about 4:30 or 5 the priority switched to sleep- which we both desperately needed. At 9:45ish, I was getting up to use the loo again and felt rush of fluid, so I froze thinking maybe I'd soiled myself, but moved again and more fluid which I couldn't stop with Kegels. Then at 10:08 more fluid... and since then about 1 TBSP just about every time I move- so it looks like my water really has broken.

Stephen has been sent out to bank and to collect my thyroid Rx refill... so while he's gone, I'm trying to get contractions going on their own (which will work better when I actually get up and start moving more- right now I'm just wiggling in my chair). If they do, we go with it. If they don't then I do the second round of terrible Castor Oil via the chocolate milkshake. I think I'll do the milkshake anyway- something cold and creamy (soy creamy) sounds really good on my shredded intestinal tract. I'm thinking yoghurt is going to be high on the list of edibles as well...

However, we made a run to the Co-op last and got a lot of really good food. I have fresh radishes, yams, the BEST apples ever- almost as good as the huge one I got in Germany near Blenheim- two big jugs of organic apple juice, pear juice, the shampoo and conditioner I love, and generally healthy, yummy goodness. I shall masticate it and love it all (in little bits at a time of course, I really don't eat that much)... and hopefully it will all stay put.

So anyway... we're still not in consistent active labor but I think we're on our way to getting there. Baby is still moving around... can't believe we're going to meet our little peanut soon! I washed everything last night... so lots of clean, soft clothes and blankets await baby!

The Grandma's have been alerted and will be arriving later this afternoon.

I wonder how long this is going to take... will we have an 11th or 12th baby? Probably 12th.

K Stephen, hurry up! I'm finally hungry again.

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it's bobsled baby time!

It Begins | 40 Week Midwife Appointment

There is nothing like going in to something like a midwife appointment at this stage in the game and hearing just what you wanted to hear.

After all of my efforts this week- Acupuncture, Thai Curry for lunch yesterday, walking for an hour with Darryl and Alice, "Indian Hot" Vegetable Curry for dinner last night, and thinking wide cervical thoughts- it turns out that we are in fact getting somewhere. Not only have I had some intermittent contractions and a lot of tightness, but I am, in fact, 3 cm dilated! My cervix is about 1 cm thick and the baby is at -1 Station (which is pretty good). I think the baby was quite surprised to get poked in the head for the first time EVER. Imagine its confusion.

So, the only not great news is that my blood pressure has crept up a little bit further, but that turns into good news because give that my cervix is favourable, Darlene doesn't want to wait until next week and possibly jeopardize our home birth. Basically we're looking to have a baby tomorrow or Friday. To accomplish this I have to find some happy balance between walking, controlling my urge to clean the whole world, and getting plenty of rest and then take 2oz of Castor Oil tonight at 2200, and another 2 oz tomorrow morning at 0400.

Mom has been alerted. The Mother-in-law has been alerted. Stephen's boss(es) have been alerted. I'm officially done with work for a while (other than photography stuff which never really stops). The house could use a last once over, but other than that we're pretty much there. The plan is to spend the afternoon with Charlotte and allow myself to be pretty much distracted with things until Stephen gets done with work for today. The plan then is to hit the co-op and get the last minute food items we may need in the next few days... and other than that, the plan is to spend some time together with just the two of us.

It's odd to think it won't be just the two of us again... probably not ever, really. Our lives, our relationship, we are about to change permanently. It's even more odd to know that these changes, this huge life event and everything that entails is just staring us in the face. We are a family- now more than ever. That's a pretty amazing feeling.

This morning I was so uncomfortable and rather grumpy with being uncomfortable... now I'm more excited than I know what to do with. I'm standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking a vast ocean- the winds of change are blowing across my face and my toes are wrapped around the edge of the sheer rock. I have my arms out just waiting to jump... and hopefully fly. Then, from the beautiful sunset on the not so distant horizon, a little butterfly flutters up and lands on my nose.

What a crazy ride.

Watch this space.

Could it be possible to will labor into happening?

See how my little brother, kevbonium says, "thinking of you."

...

Inutero baby hiccups has to be, easily, one of the weirdest pregnancy sensations ... and definitely my least favourite. OH well. Necessary practice for the little nipper.

Feeling much better today, even though I'm a bit nauseous after eating a dessert type item for brunch today... MISTAKE. I should know better but I was pressed for time. And now I pay for it.

On the plus side, I was pressed for time because I went and collected the labor tub, which is currently dominating the back seat of the Subie.

There's nothing holding us back now. I'm going to give this Evening Primrose stuff a try and ... see if anything happens I guess. I hope it's not as gross as it sounds. Yuck.

Oh, also on the good news list: most things are arriving in the post! I love getting things in the post. It's terrible. Now I'm just waiting for my Caden Lane messenger diaper bag to get here from Canada. They sent it via national post and it's taking freakin' forever. I asked for a tracking number, and much like our own ridiculous postal system, it only had information dating to the 28th of September. Thanks... that's oh so helpful. I hope it shows up!

I'm going to finish the baby room tonight. That's my plan. That means organizing the changing table, taking the wipes warmer out of the box, putting the cloth diapers in the crate thing I got for them, and making the room look really cozy. I'm intending to take pictures, but we'll see if I really do it. That would be better tomorrow when there is window light.

And now for more water... and hoping these hiccups knock off.

Oh, last thing of note: even my too big clothes are tight now! Bah. I squished into a tie dye dress today and have to keep checking to make sure the buttons haven't popped open again. Good thing I'm wearing under layers. It's tempting to say I'm not going to work here next week and just live in pajamas until the baby comes out. I'll miss the gut when it does, though. It's a special thing. But next time... if there is ever a next time (which could happen if Stephen is as keen on babies as he is on his cats) I have a couple of requirements. 1) Loose some freakin weight first so I feel prettier, and 2) invest in real maternity clothes that actually fit and ESPECIALLY knickers.

That is all.

I am really not feeling great today. My back is killing me. It's so uncomfortable to sit anywhere- to the point of distracting me from work.
( More about not feeling great... )

( Occipital Posterior )

Ah well... almost there, though. Today, officially, I can say I'm about ready to get this over with. Part of me still wants the rest of the week to get things done in the office and wrap up with clients, but there is a huge part of me that is so ready for the baby.

Every night for the last few nights I've had baby dreams. I had one where I could grab the foot from outside of my belly and I tried to spin the baby around so it would be going the right way. There was another one where we, Stephen, baby girl, and myself were riding in the car. I had the baby in my lap in the front seat and she was looking out the window. She had a rainbow aura and a cute hat. I kept thinking I should really put her back in her seat now, but I didn't want to let her go. I had another one which was basically just looking back at the car seat (from the front seat of the car, which I do all the time) and finally seeing feet in it. I'm looking forward to that.

I'm ready to be captivated by the tiny creature.

Oh yeah, did I mention that we're now within a week of our due date?

I'm making lists of things we [Stephen] need to remember when it's Baby Time. Included amongst those lists is that of who wants to be notified that labor and/or birth has occurred/is happening. I'm honestly not sure who to put on this list so I'm asking for your help. Please let us know if you would like to be on that list.

We are not likely to contact anyone other than immediate family if either or both of these events occur in the middle of the night. If you want to know no matter what the hour or the day, please let us know. I'm not guaranteeing anything, mind you, as I'm not likely to be in charge of this and Stephen is likely to be distracted... however, if you have your name on the piece of paper to which Stephen and/or my mom will be referring then your chances are much better.

Thanks from us.

[Poll #1060657]

This one is for all of you who tell me "Oh! You're not that big!"

Well... I am now. The Ellie Belly seems to have suddenly exploded into hugeness this week. This is not surprising considering that the up-and-down space available is totally used up. Bending in any direction, including simply leaning to one side or another, is not only extremely uncomfortable, it's damn near impossible. I do believe the kid is now going very much in the out direction. I'll see if I can get Stephen to take a picture of me tomorrow... but geese do I feel gigantic. Note: this doesn't mean that it is advisable to agree with me... and I know there are certain people saying "you always were."

Last time I checked I could still see my feet, but maybe I should check again.

It's past midnight and I'm avoiding going to bed. Why? Because it's so difficult to get comfortable that I almost don't want to try. The midwife says I'm not to recline as we're still trying to get baby to roll over and face the right instead of the left, so I'm forced to sleep on my side. For some reason sleeping on my left side, the advisable one for multiple reasons, is the less comfortable of the two possible sleeping positions. I have taken to creating a pillow nest, which Stephen despises, and seems to work a little better than some of the other options. But ... still not comfortable. This is true to the extent that by the fourth or fifth time I've woken up to go to the loo, around 6am, I lay there not wanting to bother trying to get back to sleep. I've been spending a lot of mornings wandering around the house, going down for juice or otherwise just staring at the ceiling. I suppose this is all good practice for feeding around the clock.

I never thought I would be looking forward so much to sleeping on my stomach or my back. I have always been a side sleeper, but this is a different ball game. Baby got heavy and it pulls on the muscles/connective tissues of my abdomen and sides. It's also killing my back. Amazingly enough, laying down is the most uncomfortable position for me. I find this pretty surprising. Now with two weeks to go until the due date, I'm finally finding myself wishing for labor. It's only now that I really feel big and pregnant.

Ironically, I've been wearing my pre-pregnancy trousers this week and they're so much more comfortable than any of the maternity clothes that I have. Fair be it, they are totally unzipped and held up by my Bella Band (invaluable thing that it is), but they fit everywhere else. They, unlike all the maternity trousers, are not made for short women. It's so nice not to be high-watering it, although that may be appropriate now that the rains and autumn have arrived.

It's really feeling like autumn now. This change in the weather is something I've been waiting for to signal that we're close to baby time. Funny that it's come just as we hit full term. The days seem drastically shorter. I'm finally sleeping with a blanket again (first time in months). I'm also getting to layer and wear sweaters- which I love. I'm so not a summer person, and I'm very happy to see it go. This transition is so marked this year. Of course this is possibly the most significant change in seasons I will ever experience. Going into this new year (Celtic, that is)I will be a mother.

I'm really looking forward to baby coming. It feels like it's pretty cramped in there and I wonder how long it will wait until the magical proteins or whatever are released and signal that baby is ready for the oxygen world. We are armed and ready. We are armed with things that I wish we never had to buy (and couldn't do with a straight face). Our home birth kit is here as well, the basket of classic home birth items (all from out check list) is stocked and ready to roll, and all we need to do is finish cleaning up the bedroom. It's a lot closer but more cluttered than I'd like it to be. Also, the bathroom could use some deep cleaning but somehow I haven't been too excited to get down on my hands and knees to scrub anything. Shocking, I'm sure.

The Green Room is put together and peaceful. Although, Stephen has, as of today, turned on the television and hooked up the cable, so it has been invaded. However, this is still likely to be a nice, quiet tea and sitting room, and likely where I'll nurse a lot of the time. My glider/rocker fits wonderfully in there and I'm very happy with it.

Well... I guess I'll go fight the bed. We all need rest.

P.S. I have been getting a lot of random food cravings again, although I have not been able to indulge them. They come and go very quickly, but it's sort of funny... I'm really feeling full circle in many ways. I blame my trousers.

One month to go until our due date!

Hopefully this post will be much calmer than the one I intended to write last night.

I'm not sure where to start, so I suppose it will be the end and then we'll back up from there.
( It's not pretty. )

This is not the start I wanted for our baby.

Edit: P.S.: This whole persistent anxiety attack thing this really devastating my work day. *Big. Thumbs. Down.*