Pollywog Blog: 16 weeks 2 days

[eniarelocin]

Let my start by saying that thanks to Mr. Imneverwrongaboutanythingeventhoughitwasntanacccusation, I'm not in a good mood right now. I'm not feeling well today anyway and I'm blaming lack of sleep. I'm pretty listless and weak. I'm probably somewhat dehydrated but no amount of water seems to be helping. Oh, and I'm hungry. I would really like some substantial food about now.

And while I'm on the whinge, my clothes are uncomfortable. I just want a blanky and a cup of hot chocolate... and no one bothering me. I've been really busy at work today which is good for passing time, but not helping with feeling of exhaustion. The more I go, the more light headed and parched I feel.

On a more pleasant note, we have again changed health care providers for our maternity care. The more time has passed, the more my apprehension about going to a hospital and dealing with OB's has become. I heard about a birthing center through another post which is actually closer to home. So we went and met with Darlene at Cascade Birth Center yesterday.

I called the OB's office to cancel our 16 week appointment that as set for Thursday. The receptionist asked if I wanted to reschedule and I said no. She asked if I was going to another clinic and I said I was. She then asked why I didn't want to see that doctor anymore to which I replied I didn't want to see an OB at all. Click. She hung up on me. Glad we're not going there anymore.

For the first time I actually have a good feeling about this and a positive image in my mind of whole experience. The pieces are actually coming together and I can image going through labour without being angry with nurses, afraid and anxious about what they might do to me and the baby. The bottom line is that I don't trust surgeons to not think like surgeons. I am really happy about having a midwife and now have a really positive feeling about meeting and holding our baby for the first time. I am really looking forward to that. Only another 24 weeks to go.

Now that I can get over the hating the hospital part it brings up other issues I hadn't really thought about, like who is going to be at the birth. Who will I want to have there? And how many people am I going to offend by asking them not to come? I would imagine quite a few. I can't really think of anyone, other than maybe Anna, who I would want to have in there to actually help me be calm and comfort me through the whole thing. I wish that person would be Stephen but I don't expect that. Maybe we should sign up for some birthing classes and see how that goes.

Only an hour and a half until freedom. I'm so ready to leave work. Gah.

Comments

[sparklielizard.livejournal.com]

This all sounds very positive! Good for you for going for a midwife :-)

[ebonyraine.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I know you recommended birth centers before but when I searched for them, for some reason they call came up as being 40 or more miles away... and similar results came up when searching for midwives. I thought there weren't any around here.

Glad I found this one!

Hope you and Bethan are feeling better. Poor little thing... and perhaps look into a helmet with googly eyes so she doesn't shatter her little noggin'! (or put a big dent in her forehead like I did when I was little.)

[sparklielizard.livejournal.com]

It's more bashing her face than her head she's good at! I think babies are meant to fall over like that, but it still upsets her, bless her. Still, she'll learn to put her hands out - she's already realised her hands can stop her from falling to the side so she's getting there! I do try and catch her if I see her falling but usually there's never enough time. She only does it about once every few days, and it's less and less frequent as she gets older!

She's feeling fine and I'm mostly better! It's just the husband who is still faulty now ;-)

[ebonyraine.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... faulty husbands can be a problem. Mine is the King Incubator of Germs. Though, he's been pretty good for a while, thank Pete.

I do figure babies have all the bumper, baby fat cushioning for a good reason, but the idea of baby falling down and actually hurting itself is still sort of freaky. Especially when marks are left. I suppose I would be afraid of being labeled a child beater or bad mum on top of the actual harm and discomfort of baby.

[sparklielizard.livejournal.com]

I can never tell if Steve actually does get it worse than me, or if he just can't cope as well! Without actually being Steve whilst he's ill, I have no idea ;-)

I got really upset the first several times Bethan managed to hurt herself but I figure that as you say, she's designed to hurt herself a bit. We leave her in a safe place with a padded mat, so it's nowhere near as bad as if she fell onto a wooden floor or anything. It's the shock for her more than anything else, although yesterday she fell on a plastic block which did leave a mark. I was seeing the doctor about her snotty nose not long after and he was talking about how she's likely to be covered in bumps and bruises from now on and not to worry about it!

When she was a few weeks old she smashed her hand into the side of the crib a few times and a bruise formed. The midwife made me go to the doctor to get it looked at, which I was wary about, and sure enough the doctor said it was nothing to worry about (it wasn't) - he also said "don't worry, we won't be calling social services on you" which was a relief! Like you, I'm terrified that the natural knocks babies do themselves will result in a knock at the door. I'm sure they're probably not quite that zealous but it's always at the back of my mind!